Welcome back to Logtown. Time doesn’t pass as quickly here as in the real world, but nonetheless, things have changed. I’m a new narrator. The old narrator, with the sultry, sexy, female voice, has been replaced. I’m an old man, with a gravelly voice. Don’t confuse us.

Simon is now dating a watermelon. He’s happy about that, but the cantaloupe he dumped is not. The cantaloupe is peering angrily in the window at Simon and his watermelon. Maybe someone will file a restraining order if they ever notice.

Richie has started scanning the local want ads for a new job. In Logtown, the want ads are typed on a sheet of paper and stapled to the back of the outhouse near the school. So far, Richie hasn’t found much interesting.

Fletcher is still pretty much a loser. His diet of less-than-healthy food has led to extreme bouts of flatulence, which is becoming dangerous with Richie still chain-smoking cigarettes. I wonder who will write the story when the mobile home explodes during a game of Madden when those two things mix fatally.

I’m glad I’m just narrating, and not sitting in that trailer with them.

Young MC? Glad you asked. Actually, I’m glad you remembered him. Because he’s just walked through the door, and he doesn’t look happy.

Richie: Hey, Young, what’s going on? You want to play Fletcher? He’s kicking my ass, as usual.

Young MC: No, I don’t want to play. That game sucks. Why can’t we get an X-Box?

Fletcher: Because nobody wants to pay for one.

Simon (to his watermelon): Where do you want to eat tonight, darling?

Young MC: I need a new name. I’m sick of everyone calling me ‘Young MC.’

Richie: Why?

Young MC: Because everyone keeps asking me if I want to Bust a Move. And it’s old. And starting to get annoying.

Fletcher: (starts making noises that sound something like the song that Young MC hates)

Young MC: (glares at Fletcher)

Fletcher: (ignores Young MC, keeps making noises, begins to shimmy his shoulders)

Richie: When’s the pizza gonna get here?

Simon: I don’t know. But I’m not staying for dinner. We’re going to Burger King.

Well, I’m not going to sit here and wait for the boys’ pizza to arrive. You can, but I’m not going to tell you what’s going on. While you’re waiting, if you’ve got an idea for Young MC’s new moniker, why don’t you share it with us?

I am saddened to know that one of my new favorite shows is almost over.

HBO's The Wire is one of the best shows I have ever seen. Like a moron, I didn't start watching until Season 4, which wrapped earlier this year. I've gone back and purchased Season 1 on DVD, and tore through that in a week. Then, I got my wife to watch it, and now she's hooked. We're currently shopping for Season 2 (e-bay is the cheapest place to find this show online).

What stinks is that '08 will be the final season. And probably by next summer, one of my other favs, The Shield, will have concluded its run. So I'll be down to LOST and Heroes.  

I'm glad to hear from you. I finally figured out how to find your e-mail address when you make a post, so I've spent some time responding. Check your e-mails.