Judging by the horrific driving ability of so many people in Lexington, KY, I've decided to voice a few of my ideas for doing something about it.

Today's idea involves traffic signs. I propose changing the word "ONLY" on traffic signs to "UNLESS," and changing "MUST" to "SHOULD." You know, instead of "RIGHT TURN ONLY" the sign reads "RIGHT TURN UNLESS," and instead of "LEFT LANE MUST TURN LEFT" the sign will read "LEFT LANE SHOULD TURN LEFT."

I say this because that's the way people drive anyway around here. People regularly ignore traffic signs because they have no earthly idea where they are going, even though they're the one operating the vehicle. Turn lanes are just alternate thru lanes to Lexington drivers who believe they are the only vehicle on the road.

That's it for today, kids. Remember, if you don't know where you're driving to, or how you're going to get there, PLEASE STAY HOME.