Last things first -- enough of this is fiction that you shouldn't believe it as true.

Welcome to the cast of characters at Logtown High, nickname Loggers.

Young MC is the girls' basketball coach. His claim to fame is that he broke the gender barrier in high school athletics by becoming the first male to play girls' basketball.

Simon Liebowitz is the short, bespectacled, bow-tie wearing political science teacher who rants in a thick southern accent, drinks heavily, and spends the first month of each school year with an unusual tan line resulting from the shaving of his face-covering summer beard. The louder and angrier he gets, the funnier it is.

Richie is the cafeteria manager and journalism teacher. He's really tall and skinny, and smokes cigarettes.

Fletcher is Richie's best friend and writes for the big town newspaper 40 miles away, but his only beat is covering events in Logtown, Population 3473. Fletcher has a lot of free time.

There are lots of other secondary characters who will be making appearances from time to time, occasionally when they're aware of it.

If ever the Tales From Logtown take a turn into nonsensical stage performances, I'm ripping the idea off from Richard Davis. Please don't sue.