OK, here's some stupid stuff...

There's a bank downtown that has 3 drive thru lanes inside a parking garage. Above each lane, there's a lighted sign that either reads "open" or "Closed."

To the average Joe, this means that if the lane is "open" that you can use it, and if it says "closed" you shouldn't, because....it's CLOSED.

In the last few weeks, I've been at this bank making deposits for work, and as is the norm, two lanes are "open" and one is "closed." I've lived in this town for 12 years, and I've never seen the third lane "open." Every time I've ever been there, the first two lanes are open, and the third lane is closed.

But when I'm there, both "open" lanes are occupied. So, inevitably, someone then pulls under the "closed" sign and into the third lane. They roll their window down, stick out their hand, and attempt to push the button to get the door to open so they can get the plastic tube out. And the door never opens, and they never get the tube.

They push the button again. And Again. And then, in a huff of anger, roll their window back up, and LEAVE.

That's right. They LEAVE.

Instead of backing up and getting in line (which is never longer than the one car at the tube-sender), they leave. And they're frustrated.

I have no idea where they go, since the nearest branch of this bank is at least 25 blocks away. But their inherent stupidity results in their anger and their apparent decision not to do their banking.

I laugh at them. Because they're idiots.

We haven't heard much from the Logtown boys lately, because the mushrooms Simon found were, of course, psychadelic. So our heroes have spent a lot of time dazed, confused, and rubbing their faces and thinking the ants in the trailer were much larger and colorful than they actually were.

The least desirable result of this is that the boys no longer have jobs. Or, more specifically, Simon and Fletcher have joined Richie in the jobless department. They traded mushrooms for pizza delivery and beer. They sold mushrooms to Richie's mom so they could pay their utility bills.

But now the mushroom patch is barren, and the boys have begun to return to reality.

"(unintelligible mumbling)."

Richie's eyes opened. "What?"

Simon rolled over from his face-down position on the floor.

The mumbling became more coherent. "When are we?" Fletcher asked.

Richie was silent for a long moment. "I don't know." His eyes began to focus on his hands, which were slowly working their way around his spot on the sofa. "Where's my cigarettes?"

Maybe we should give them some more time to recover......

My wife and I went to Paramount Kings Island yesterday. One of the things we have always liked doing was going to amusement parks to ride the thrill rides.

But after our experiences yesterday, I don't know how much longer we can do this.

Never before in our lives have we gotten off the roller coasters, moaning because the bumpy rides beat us up. Or moaning because we were constantly trying to avoid whiplash.

Our first ride of the day was the giant steel coaster Vortex. By the time we were done, I already felt twangs of pain in my neck. Firehawk, the new coaster, didn't bother me. Then we rode two more wooden coasters. Both of them beat us up, me more than my wife.

Son of Beast left both of us wondering if we needed medical attention. The Beast wasn't bad at all, especially compared to Son of Beast.

Today, my wife is still complaining about her neck. My neck is tender, but not painful.

Hopefully, we were having a bad day, and this isn't a sign of things to come.