Fletcher and Richie are sitting in Richie’s mobile home in the far recesses of Crapper’s Park, engaged in a NCAA Football contest on the big screen TV that is far too large for such a cramped space. Pizza boxes, empty beer and soda cans, and shattered video game controllers provide décor. Richie’s multi-colored, mixed breed dog Vito is curled up next to the TV, licking himself happily.
While you were reading that, Fletcher returned an interception for a TD, making the score 41-0 in the first quarter. Richie hit the reset button.
Fletcher: At least you didn’t break anything.
Richie (lighting cigarette): <a few choice expletives deleted>
Richie: They got pretty mad at me today…thanks.
Fletcher: I’m not the one who picked the day for the field trip. You think I’m going to cancel my day of inspiration to do work that doesn’t exist?
Fletcher: It’s my golf day! Golf. It inspires me to keep holding a job where I don’t have hours that restrict me from outdoor activities. And it’s always funny to write about golf. I could write about Bart getting run over by the golf cart until my fingers hurt. That was hilarious!
Richie: Ok, it was funny. (looking at the team selection screen) We need to make a rule where you can’t be USC…
A knock at the door reveals Simon and Young MC, supplies and controllers in hand. Simon looks unusually agitated. Not just his usual agitated. Let’s get out the ‘ear muffs’ for a moment while he gets himself situated in one of the plush recliners that bookend the sofa. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Richie owes more on his living room set than he paid for his car. But that’s for another time; Simon seems to have calmed down.
By the way, the game between Fletcher and Richie has reached the 4th quarter.
Young MC: My girlfriend broke up with me….
Young MC: Again.
Richie: How long since you first started going out?
Young MC: Four months.
Richie: How many times has she broken up with you?
Young MC: Four.
Richie: How many months has she been out of high school?
Young MC (annoyed): Are you getting at something?
Richie: Am I the only one who sees this pattern?
Simon: Looks longingly towards kitchen
Fletcher: How long does it usually take until they get back together? Until she remembers her parents threw her out?
Richie: That sounds about right.
Simon: I’m gonna go to the kitchen for something….
Young MC: I really wish you guys would quit making fun of my girlfriend. So what if she’s young? Don’t we all want young girlfriends?
Fletcher: We want young girls, not young girlfriends. Oh, and speaking of your girlfriend, did she tell you we saw her at work Thursday when we were on our field trip? She’s looking pretty good.
The sound of an electric can opener coming from the kitchen interrupts the conversation. Fletcher and Richie look at each other with ‘oh, not again’ looks.
Richie (extinguishing cigarette and standing): Simon?
Fletcher: There’d better not be any creamed corn in there…Richie, you’ve got to be kidding me…
Richie (moving quickly towards kitchen): Simon! No!