09/30/2005
My review of "The Office"
Well, a replay of the 9-27-05 episode of "The Office" was on Bravo last night, so I recorded it and watched it this evening.
I don't fault the WLEX-18 General Manager for choosing to pre-empt the show. It was racy by network standards, though in language only. This isn't a show with buxom bikini-clad models strutting around (but there was an inflatable).
I wonder about the show's creators, and what kind of reaction they wanted from their audience. In most of our situations, we cringe in agony at how inappropriate some behavior can be in the workplace. But I can understand that in the wrong hands (America haters, unrestrained juveniles, people who don't understand the concept of a sitcom) this could encourage the wrong reactions.
But I, and my wife, laughed out loud at the antics on the show and appreciated the efforts of the cast and crew.
20:20 Posted in Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/28/2005
WLEX-18 pre-empts 'The Office'
So I'm watching 'My Name is Earl' on WLEX-18 (the Lexington, KY, NBC affiliate), and when the show ends and it's time for the painfully funny 'The Office,' I'm forced to watch 'EXTRA' instead.
The WLEX-18 website listed 'The Office' as scheduled for 9:30 p.m., but it wasn't on. The crawl at the bottom of the screen stated that the show's content was deemed offensive, apparently too offensive to air.
I sent an e-mail, and got a response from Tom Gilbert, the President/General Manager of the station informing me the decision was the first time this had happened in his five years in his position and that the episode would air Saturday at 2:35 a.m.
I just wonder what's so offensive that the local affiliate decides that a pre-taped program that has passed network censors is too offensive to air at 9:30 p.m. I guess I'll have to record it and find out.
19:29 Posted in Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/26/2005
A Review of What We’ve Learned, Chapter 34
Fletcher and Richie are sitting in Richie’s mobile home in the far recesses of Crapper’s Park, engaged in a NCAA Football contest on the big screen TV that is far too large for such a cramped space. Pizza boxes, empty beer and soda cans, and shattered video game controllers provide décor. Richie’s multi-colored, mixed breed dog Vito is curled up next to the TV, licking himself happily.
While you were reading that, Fletcher returned an interception for a TD, making the score 41-0 in the first quarter. Richie hit the reset button.
Fletcher: At least you didn’t break anything.
Richie (lighting cigarette): <a few choice expletives deleted>
Richie: They got pretty mad at me today…thanks.
Fletcher: I’m not the one who picked the day for the field trip. You think I’m going to cancel my day of inspiration to do work that doesn’t exist?
Richie: Inspiration?
Fletcher: It’s my golf day! Golf. It inspires me to keep holding a job where I don’t have hours that restrict me from outdoor activities. And it’s always funny to write about golf. I could write about Bart getting run over by the golf cart until my fingers hurt. That was hilarious!
Richie: Ok, it was funny. (looking at the team selection screen) We need to make a rule where you can’t be USC…
A knock at the door reveals Simon and Young MC, supplies and controllers in hand. Simon looks unusually agitated. Not just his usual agitated. Let’s get out the ‘ear muffs’ for a moment while he gets himself situated in one of the plush recliners that bookend the sofa. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Richie owes more on his living room set than he paid for his car. But that’s for another time; Simon seems to have calmed down.
By the way, the game between Fletcher and Richie has reached the 4th quarter.
Young MC: My girlfriend broke up with me….
Richie: Again?
Fletcher: Again?
Simon: Again?
Young MC: Again.
Richie: How long since you first started going out?
Young MC: Four months.
Richie: How many times has she broken up with you?
Young MC: Four.
Richie: How many months has she been out of high school?
Young MC (annoyed): Are you getting at something?
Richie: Am I the only one who sees this pattern?
Simon: Looks longingly towards kitchen
Fletcher: How long does it usually take until they get back together? Until she remembers her parents threw her out?
Richie: That sounds about right.
Simon: I’m gonna go to the kitchen for something….
Young MC: I really wish you guys would quit making fun of my girlfriend. So what if she’s young? Don’t we all want young girlfriends?
Fletcher: We want young girls, not young girlfriends. Oh, and speaking of your girlfriend, did she tell you we saw her at work Thursday when we were on our field trip? She’s looking pretty good.
The sound of an electric can opener coming from the kitchen interrupts the conversation. Fletcher and Richie look at each other with ‘oh, not again’ looks.
Richie (extinguishing cigarette and standing): Simon?
Fletcher: There’d better not be any creamed corn in there…Richie, you’ve got to be kidding me…
Richie (moving quickly towards kitchen): Simon! No!
21:41 Posted in Tales from Logtown High | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/25/2005
Field Trip Fails: Students cited, injured
LOGTOWN (UPI) – Three Logtown High journalism students were injured and another eight received citations from local police during a field trip Thursday.
The injuries occurred at the local golf course, Loggers Row Public Links, when one student was struck by a ball in flight, one was run over by a golf cart, and the other was attacked by an undetermined wild animal while searching through the waist-deep grasses off the eighth fairway.
Two of the citations were issued at the golf course for minors in possession of alcohol, and the other six citations were given for loitering outside the local gentlemen’s establishment, Logger’s Wood.
While it appears from preliminary investigation that the injuries sustained at the golf course were accidents, it has yet to be determined if the adult chaperones face any sanctions for the students who received the citations.
“There is a rational explanation for the events that transpired on the journalism field trip,” journalism teacher Richie Potts said, reading from a prepared statement. “It doesn’t appear that any of the injuries sustained are serious, and I hope all of them heal quickly.”
20:46 Posted in Tales from Logtown High | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/22/2005
Notes from Logtown
TIMBER!
The Logtown Lumber Company announced that its quarterly profits would be larger than predicted by analysts for the seventh consecutive quarter, which will result in added bonuses for every member of the 300+ employees of the self-owned business.
It is expected that most of the money, continuing custom, will be donated to the Logtown High football program.
The Logtown Lumber Company has called a press conference for tomorrow afternoon.
Parents of injured freshman contest detention
The parents of the Logtown High freshman injured in an outhouse explosion have contested their child’s mandatory detention for violating the ‘No Open Flames Near the Outhouse’ rule.
“We just moved here this summer, and we live in the Foundation District,” father Jim Smith said. “Our daughter didn’t know any better about how serious the ‘NO SMOKING’ sign in the outhouse truly is. I think she’s suffered enough, and I’m sure she’s learned her lesson.”
Wayne Plupe, Logtown principal, had no comment about Mr. Smith’s comments, nor did he respond to questions about penalties for freshmen that smoke on campus.
Students to get workplace experience
The Logtown High journalism class will take a field trip as they follow a local reporter on his duties writing for a professional newspaper.
Richie Potts, class instructor, was enthusiastic about showing his students what true journalism was all about.
“We only do this once every four years,” Potts said, “so that students only get to experience this once, and hopefully they will appreciate it more.”
22:00 Posted in Tales from Logtown High | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this
09/20/2005
Motion to oust Outhouse fails again
LOGTOWN (UPI) – City council voted tonight to keep the current Logtown High School symbol, despite the annual protest of Council member T.J. Bowl.
“One of these years,” Bowl said in a post-meeting interview, “I’m going to get one more vote and things will change for the better.”
Since Bowl was elected as the Council representative from District 3 - known to locals as ‘The Foundation District’ because there are no mobile homes in the District – he has campaigned unsuccessfully to have the Logtown High symbol changed from an outhouse to an oak tree.
“Why in Pete’s name would Logtown High have an oak tree for its symbol?” District 1 representative Stan Crapper opined after the meeting. “This town is all about logs, and having a tree for a symbol sends an unusually violent message to outsiders of our community.”
District 2 representative Pete Spurtz opposed the change for different reasons.
“As you know,” Spurtz said, “my entire district is comprised of mobile homes and shacks with dirt floors. Having that outhouse as a symbol for our institution of higher education hearkens back to the days when none of the homes in this town had indoor plumbing and that outhouse was the only place we had to go. Why in Stan’s name would we want to abandon our heritage?”
As recently as 1978, the outhouse in front of the high school was the only toilet in town. On Nov. 17, 1977, police records indicate that Stan Crapper and Pete Spurtz came to blows over who placed their hand on the door handle – Logtown etiquette for determining outhouse order – first. After the spring thaw, Crapper opened his own trailer park, Crapper’s Park, and installed his own outhouse.
In other council business, the council voted unanimously to rebuild the outhouse in front of the school after one of the freshman allegedly attempted to light a cigarette inside of it Monday morning during school hours. The freshman suffered severe burns, but will be given detention upon his return to school for violating the ‘No Open Flames Near the Outhouse’ rule that has been in effect since the town was founded.
-30-21:45 Posted in Tales from Logtown High | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/18/2005
An intro to Logtown
Last things first -- enough of this is fiction that you shouldn't believe it as true.
Welcome to the cast of characters at Logtown High, nickname Loggers.
Young MC is the girls' basketball coach. His claim to fame is that he broke the gender barrier in high school athletics by becoming the first male to play girls' basketball.
Simon Liebowitz is the short, bespectacled, bow-tie wearing political science teacher who rants in a thick southern accent, drinks heavily, and spends the first month of each school year with an unusual tan line resulting from the shaving of his face-covering summer beard. The louder and angrier he gets, the funnier it is.
Richie is the cafeteria manager and journalism teacher. He's really tall and skinny, and smokes cigarettes.
Fletcher is Richie's best friend and writes for the big town newspaper 40 miles away, but his only beat is covering events in Logtown, Population 3473. Fletcher has a lot of free time.
There are lots of other secondary characters who will be making appearances from time to time, occasionally when they're aware of it.
If ever the Tales From Logtown take a turn into nonsensical stage performances, I'm ripping the idea off from Richard Davis. Please don't sue.
23:20 Posted in Tales from Logtown High | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/14/2005
Only in Kentucky?
Can anyone tell me why Kentucky doesn't require annual vehicle inspections in concert with the registration renewals?
Noboby's examined my car since I first got Kentucky plates -- back in 1997.
Since then, how likely is it that I've had headlights, turn signals or brake lights burn out and need to be replaced?
Well, what if they do, and I don't want to spend any money or time to fix it? Is anybody going to tell me to fix it? Pretty much any person of any class or race would consider it being hassled by the police if they pulled you over and gave you a citation, right?
So, where's my incentive to fix my burned-out brake lights? Sure, I'll get them fixed if my car gets rear-ended. It will likely cost a helluva lot more $$ than just getting it fixed, right?
It seems that in Kentucky, this is an acceptable risk. In ARKANSAS, of all places, vehicles have to be inspected before new registration tags are issued. It costs a nominal fee, and most auto service centers/oil change shops/full service gas stations would provide the service, so it wouldn't take much time or be too far out of anyone's way.
Passing inspection wins you a small sticker that is placed on your windshield in the general location of where we already have a stack of parking passes growing steadily by the road trip -- the inspector even will have a nifty gadget that removes the old sticker before the new one is applied -- so there won't be a trail of inspection stickers running all the way around the edge of your 1974 Oldsmobuick Behemoth.
Now, not even this would help people with their turn signals, but it might help
22:09 Posted in Driving Woes | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this
My Own Modest Proposal
Judging by the horrific driving ability of so many people in Lexington, KY, I've decided to voice a few of my ideas for doing something about it.
Today's idea involves traffic signs. I propose changing the word "ONLY" on traffic signs to "UNLESS," and changing "MUST" to "SHOULD." You know, instead of "RIGHT TURN ONLY" the sign reads "RIGHT TURN UNLESS," and instead of "LEFT LANE MUST TURN LEFT" the sign will read "LEFT LANE SHOULD TURN LEFT."
I say this because that's the way people drive anyway around here. People regularly ignore traffic signs because they have no earthly idea where they are going, even though they're the one operating the vehicle. Turn lanes are just alternate thru lanes to Lexington drivers who believe they are the only vehicle on the road.
That's it for today, kids. Remember, if you don't know where you're driving to, or how you're going to get there, PLEASE STAY HOME.
08:15 Posted in Driving Woes | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this